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Met up with Izzy & co. on Saturday for some frisbee-fun <3 (but on the way, Mike's car got rear-ended) ;-; I had pretty bad whiplash the morning after, but somehow, miraculously (as usual) Mike was fine. Indeed, Mike is a collapse-able goat. Tired as hell. I just want to be alone for a day, at home, sitting and doing nothing like I used to (maybe drawing, sketching, or whatever), but alas, I don't have time to. All this moving about, all this productivity is driving me off the wall. It really does seem like the more stress I'm under, the more anxious, irrate, and unreasonable I become. For instance, today, because I would have been like 5 minutes late to a class, I didn't go at all. Seriously, "what is your malfunction" indeed. Indeed. I used the opp. to snooze a bit :3 Tomorrow. Bring it. Feeling:  busy
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Shocked. Mildly amused. Very upset. It was a fair test, as far as fairness and tests go. 20 hours of straight studyingcramming went into it, along with six pots of coffee and a quarter bottle of ibuprofen. If all is imbued with luck, a 10 might be warranted. 10/100. 10%. I had never studiedcrammed so hard in my life. Nor have I ever been so utterly, devastatingly pwned. In fifty minutes, I had attempted two pages. Of eight. Keyword: attempted. I completed no problem entirely. Attempted -- five. Out of twenty. And all this for a parking ticket. No excuses for me. It's just been one of those days -- where you can't seem to get anything right. Don't intend to be conscious until at least tomorrow. Rest of this mess is going to be me, my benzodiazepine, and bed. Hopefully. Video games might get thrown into the mix if ol' benzy doesn't do her job. Cheers to a monstrously horrendous morning. Tags: bad day, failure, sleep
Feeling:  exhausted
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I feel like I've matured. Just a little bit. Really really, I don't want to end up like him -- never letting things go, griping about wrongs done fifteen years, twenty years, thirty years past -- blaming everything on everyone -- never being satisfied with anything. I've got what I've got, and I'm freakin' proud of it all. I guess I still care, somewhat, about the past; it'd be ignorant to pretend things never happened, to pretend certain people never existed, to pretend I didn't see or hear some of the things that I have. Letting go isn't so easy when you care about someone or something, but I know that sometimes the best thing for everyone is to just do it. To just let go. I feel like I've matured. Just a little bit. And yet, it makes me sad. Tags: personal
Feeling:  rushed
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Yesterday: -Gesso'd ten panels that I deftly (dangerously) extracted from two massive slabs of masonite. I gesso'd them twice. Yes. Each. Twice. And I managed to sketch on two of them before completely losing interest. -Learned CSS. I learned it good. Real good. Thus, I started concocting new layouts for various things. Sweet notepad and photoshop. -Purchased all of the gummi bears I could find from the Publix at Sandy Plains/Shallowford. They are now completely out of bears. Today: -Returned massive # of emails, haven't finished sorting through all of them yet though. -Went to 8am class. (>3 huzzah) The exam is next next Monday, relief relief. I really do like my Calc professor (even if his class is hard as hell), he's so gorgeously funny and brilliant. I think I just like his Indian accent, ahaha. I like all of my professors this time around, actually. Hrm... come to think of it, the only one I ever had a tiff with was Evil Professor Man of Doom. Interesting revelation. -Purchased gummi dinos (apparently they sold out of the gummi bears.) Later-- I feel like I should do some drawing or such, but I'm so out of tune with the last vestiges of creativity I once had -- seemingly, all I feel that I can do today is sketch. My colour theory is out of whack, so I want to work with black and white for a while? Maybe. Have I ever mentioned that I love photoshop? Keni called, so I'm probably heading out later *stretch* *A few people have asked me why they haven't seen any of my latest artwork, or why they haven't seen anything new of me in about a year. Well, the honest answer to that is: there simply isn't any. Nothing new that I'm proud of or that is completely finished, anyway. Just commissions, idle sketches, unfinished works-in-progress, lameness. And, a handful have asked to see high res versions of my old CG stuff, the 300+ layer stuff that I used to stress out about for days on end. Well, my old desktop fried. The end. Eh heh heh, I'm just kidding. I backed-up most of it on the slave drive, which is still alive and kicking, so I'll get around to sending those out once I make certain they're still accessible.* (I am resolved to be resolved. Moreso. Or. I am a pillar. Or. My own antagonist?) Really, I need a year of good sleep to make up for seven years of none ♥ Tags: art, update
Feeling:  mischievous
Listening to: J.S. Bach - Sinfonia No. 1 in C Major
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The worst innovation ever = multivitamins in the form of gummy bears. I can't stop popping them. Now I have to go to the freaking grocery store to buy some freaking gummy bears to curb the addicted sensation. Freaking-. Mah mah mah. Did stuff with Mariella, Kenny, Shanna, BJ, and Mike yesterday. Fun stuff that made me forget that I was so tired to begin with. We played worms with our DS's over wi-fi, hahahahaha. Worms is the best game ever ! Anyway, the night/morning ended happily, except when I tried to go to sleep after getting home, I couldn't. Which popped the counter up to Day Three. Again. Am seriously fighting hard to stay sleeping-pill free, but sometimes I can't help but entertain the thought of being able to sleep. For once. Oh well, I'm not going there. Gummies ! Gummies ! Fruit Jammers ! Wooosh. Tags: gummies, worms
Feeling: working
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While waiting for the paint to dry on a) the garage doors b) the canvases c) the masonites, I played some FFX, and I decided to get Wakka's ultimate weapons. But no, o ho ho. No easy task, it is. Blitzball, suck my metaphorical balls ! Ugh, I'm so glad Video games don't mimic life. Or rather... life doesn't mimic video games? ... waiting waiting waiting for the paint to dry ... how dreary. The sky is falling? This morning I ate like a tornado. My Hungry is broken, so I had to decide when to eat based on mechanical clockwork -- which meant every two hours, it was chow-time. First I had pancakes drizzled with maple syrup and covered in a greasy layer of butter + slices of fresh strawberries and banana. Shortly after that, I managed to deplete an entire bag of steak fries. Then I used a pouch of Indonesian spices and two cans of coconut cream to make a tasty vegetable stew (Lodeh), and I inhaled it with a few healthy mounds of fragrant jasmine rice. For the last meal of the day, Mike ordered out for Thai, and I delved into a fine dish of fried tofu, basil, and vegetables stir-fried in a curry brown sauce (House Tofu, on the menu). Yum yum yum. I now crave a veggie sub <3 but alas, Publix is closed. ^-^ Tomorrow is the day ! Eh heh heh. I usually dislike cooking, but today, I found it almost relaxing. I guess generally I deem cooking tantamount to wasting time (which I do a lot of anyway) *shrug* but it's so much easier to make a cup of coffee than it is to prepare a meal, and so much less time consuming. Thus... I drink more than I eat. Usually. Not today :D Hurrah. But I've been playing a lot of video games lately too, which is even more of a waste of time. I'm just waiting until I start playing New Moon again, uh oh. Falling? I really want to tune my piano (I haven't got the tools). My fingers are itching to play, but the dead resonances kill my sense of pitch, rendering me unable to play without a quirk. Pout. Pathetique is waiting for me. Alas. ! Gackt only won in Billibowl because that last strike ga kaningu o shita yo ! The table totally shook like a pinball machine made to seizure :3 but it's ok, because we all like to see Gakuto-san win <3 and he does it so cheerily (?) I laughed my ass off at this icon. Does that make me evil? So cute. So angry. The expressions are priceless. The looping is ingenius. Tags: billibowl, food, funny icon, gackt, random
Feeling: thirsty
Listening to: Within Temptation - Jillian
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Ahem, so, chilled with Mike, Shanna, and Kenny; later today hopping out to get some nummies with Ben and Mikex2. Started a new painting. Finished an old painting. Am doing rabidly well, despite the bizarre spectrum of colours that won't wash from under my fingernails. Planning a big group thing for tomorrow evening :3 By the way, I'm deadly jealous of everyone that's going to NYC tomorrow *green* Am demanding pictures. (:D Oh oh, and telling us to do something we don't want to do in order to win something we don't want to win isn't productive at all, I say. Ahahaha, spankin' odd St. Patrick's Day gig.) Tags: random, update
Feeling: hopeful
Listening to: my CPU fan
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